Are you a good listener? Tips on how to improve

“This person is always there for me and knows how to really listen to me. ” How many times have you heard the above phrase? But have you ever really wondered what it means to be a good listener? First of all, it does not just mean being close to someone and listen very carefully to what others have to say. You are not just the “ear” that listens to the problems and concerns. A good listener can listen carefully but not just stay there, on the surface.  He/she will go deeper, “read” between your words, try to find the meanings that are hiding, ask questions to  understand better, offer support, not interrupt you and let you express what you have inside you. In fact, many times, he/she may need to back off, not give advice, not say what they really want. Many of us do not listen carefully enough to what our friends or relatives tell us when we have a really serious conversation. We think about what we will do next, our mind is not there, we tend to look around or to our cellphones.  It is important that the listener is present. Only if we are truly present we willbe able to have better relationships with the people around us.

How to be a better listener

If you read all of the above and realized that you are not really a good listener, don’t stress out. We have the solution for you. Yoy can read below some tips on how to improve your listening skillis. If you think that someone wants to talk to you, create the conditions under which this will happen. For example, you can invite them for food or a drink. Choose a place where you will both feel comfortable. If you invite them, then they will know you will be there for them. It may be difficult, but try to be present during the conversation. To really listen to the other person and feel what they feel. You also do not need to talk constantly. You are there to do something else. Do not be afraid of silence. When we do not speak then we realize what we said or heard and the feelings we have about those things. Ask questions to better understand the other person’s situation. Do not stress if you do not have much to say. Thank the person who “opened up” to you because it is not very easy to be vulnerable and talk about your issues to others. Giota Florou (sources:www.goodtherapy.org, https://healthcare.utah.edu/) Recent Articles